How to share your knowledge about vaccines...and be heard

The public conversation about vaccines is not currently a balanced one. The arguments for vaccinating often drown out the voices of those urging caution.

It's not easy to go against the grain, so this article aims to offer support to those who are doing so. It is an attempt to help address the current imbalance of the vaccine conversation. But we urge everyone involved to do thorough independent research and keep listening to each other.

Only then will you reach the informed decision that is right for your child and your family.  

After learning more about vaccines, you may want to share your knowledge with friends and family. But what is the best way to approach this sensitive conversation? 

When we’re discussing the health of our children, the stakes feel particularly high. And if you’re trying to present information that goes against mainstream thinking, perhaps even contradicting the advice of your own doctor, it can be very difficult. 

Vaccination, in particular, has been normalised. But doing something because most other people do it isn’t informed consent – it's just following the path of least resistance. Our children need us to work harder. 

It’s not uncommon for parents or other family members to have opposing viewpoints when it comes to vaccination. If you feel like you’re fighting to be heard, then we have some strategies that might help. 

We’ve consulted some members of the Informing Consent advisory team, who have expertise in education and communication. Here are their thoughts and advice:

“It is tempting, when you are quite certain of the dangers of childhood vaccines, to present all the research that you’ve done, and lay it all out for someone in your family who thinks it’s best to vaccinate.  

The problem with that approach is that you’re not asking them to engage their own critical thinking skills.  

You’re basically saying: I’ve done all the work and you’ve got to now believe me.  

However, in our society we’re often encouraged to look to those with medical qualifications to guide our choices on healthcare. Almost all of us are not in a position to draw upon those credentials.  

So why would they, with blind faith, do a 180° turn on something that they’ve always believed because someone, just like them, is telling them to?”

“Have you ever noticed how you feel when a street preacher or charity salesperson tries to convince you of something with a sense of urgency? You want to make sure that you avoid that energy.  

The more nonchalant, calm and perhaps perplexed you seem, the easier you make it for others to ask questions themselves. The harder you push someone to convince them, the more entrenched in their views they become – this is due to a phenomenon called 'mirror neurons' firing. The discussion becomes combative.”

“Here’s an approach that comes from the field of education: threshold concepts.  

Threshold concepts can be viewed as key concepts that allow a person with an initial bit of input to cross a threshold into an opening up of all the other questions they want to ask and have answered.  

Most areas of education have key concepts, or threshold concepts. Like a key, turning in a lock, they open up new learning areas.  

In Maths, if you’ve been introduced to the basic four number functions of addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division, then you are able to conduct many calculations.  

If you understand the concept of probability, then you can use the eight modal verbs in English, that suggest certainty or uncertainty more precisely (can, may, might, could, should, would, shall, will).  

However, when it comes to your family and healthcare, you’ll often need a more personalised tailoring of the threshold concept.  

You have to choose what is going to resonate with them, to initiate a rethinking of what they’ve always believed to be true. There has to be a certain amount of unlearning in order to take on the new learning you want them to do. And that does involve critical thinking, and questioning established rhetoric.” 

“I’m going to give you an example from my own family.  

During the Covid years, my daughter told me that her husband was going to get the Covid vaccine. Based on my own research, I didn’t think this was a good idea, and I wanted them to understand why.  

The threshold concept I picked was fertility. I chose my moment, and I chose one resource. It was a short clip of Dr. Simone Gold saying that spike protein had been found in the reproductive organs of those vaccinated, with no possible way of knowing what the impact of that would be. 

I simply said to her that, if he were to get the Covid vaccine, knowing how much they wanted to have a family, I felt an obligation to tell her that it would be prudent to have his sperm frozen. She seemed quite shocked and enquired whether it had to come to that. I explained that we simply didn’t know and then I played the clip of Dr Simone Gold.  

I think it hit home with her a lot more because I didn’t present it with absolute certainty. She didn’t feel she had to defend his intended decision. 

She presented this piece of information to him, and the suggestion of freezing sperm. Next time I saw him, a few months later, he couldn’t wait to tell me about all the criminal investigations that Pfizer has been involved in and how Moderna had never brought a vaccine to market before. He’s a lawyer so this engaged his interest.  

I knew all of this already but, of course, I feigned ignorance and gave him the stage. That’s quite crucial. You want them to feel empowered with their new knowledge, not slow on the uptake.”

“When it comes to childhood vaccines, there is a wide range of issues that you could present to someone. You may be desperate to share everything you know – but try to resist. Choose just one issue.  

Sow it as a seed of doubt. Let them find out more. Give them one credible piece of information. Don’t present it as certainty. Present it as worrying and needing further research.  

By all means show them where they can go for further research, but don’t let them feel that they are having to play catch-up to you. Consult Informing Consent’s Learning Library for evidence-based and fully referenced data on vaccines.  

You may choose the rate of allergies. You may find the increase in autoimmune diseases a compelling issue. It could be the levels of heavy metals that are in vaccines.  

Do your own research. But do wear your knowledge and research lightly in your interactions with your loved one. It’s important to relay it as something you’ve recently researched, which is quite troubling, and so you want to share it. 

And if they come back with even more evidence, and now think that vaccination is an unwise choice, then give them the stage. Listen carefully to what they’re saying. Ask them questions about what they have discovered. 

And if not? Then play for time. Point out that you both need to do more research before you make what could be a life-changing decision on behalf of the child. Then come up with a more compelling piece of evidence to put to trial.”

While it’s important to understand the risks and benefits of vaccination for the general population, it’s even better to pin down your child’s individual risk/benefit profile. 

Vaccine injuries happen; this is not disputed. There is a government vaccine damage payment scheme, and patient information leaflets list potential side-effects. The current adverse reaction reporting systems are imperfect, however, so it’s difficult to know the actual numbers involved. 

When there is disagreement about whether or not to vaccinate, it might be sensible – before making a final decision – to complete a personalised risk assessment specific to your child. 

“One last thing to try, if it looks like you cannot convince them and you feel you may have to concede to their demand, is to state a necessary condition. This is what I did with my son-in-law when I said it would be sensible for him to have his sperm frozen.  

In that scenario, you may want to say, along with all your objections, that you want a full paediatric assessment of your child for any signs, symptoms and/or genetic profile which would lead them to be vulnerable to any of the adverse events reported on the vaccine(s) (allergies, autoimmune issues, developmental delay, cognitive regression, neurological outcomes, seizures, etc).  

Explain that you are ascertaining risk but also, should the unthinkable happen, you would want to be able to track the causative factor.” 

Many people vaccinate without really thinking about it. Fear of illness is enough justification for the vaccine. But reflecting on the possibility of living with vaccine damage is sobering, and will hopefully lead to a more nuanced approach. 

What is the true risk of exposure to the illness? And what is the true risk of receiving the vaccine? Neither option is zero risk unfortunately. 

“The full force of having to imagine and then bear some responsibility for any outcome, might be enough for them to at least defer the decision but possibly change their mind altogether.  

Giving informed consent means you know the risks of a procedure, accept the risks and, therefore, are prepared to take responsibility for the risks. And the risks are serious – with the largest one being the reported (but blessedly rare) instances of death. You will need to decide if you want one of those stories to be part of your discussion.  

I think this strategy is the last resort, and I think it is best used when the child has been born. At that point, the overwhelmingly protective persona that any parent has for their precious but completely dependent child has fully ripened. That guardianship role is hard to imagine until you do become a parent. And it is that aspect of them that you are appealing to.” 

Of course, choosing not to vaccinate is not the same as choosing not to protect your child’s health. There are many proactive ways to support their natural immune system. Our family health page is a great place to start.